Perfect and Broken
by NillNull
Summary: On the relationship between slightly-crazy!Ciel and manipulative!Sebastian, seven years after the contract was formed. Dark, angsty, weird and a little bit violent. Featuring speculation and changing PoVs. SebxOlder!Ciel if you squint reeaal hard.
1. Perfect and Broken

**I ought to be more ashamed of myself…but I am a little bit, so I'm improving, right?**

**Kuroshitsuji does things to me. It's evil. (it is quite scary…but I love it anyway)*runs away crying to hide in a corner***

**This is very bad, I know…basically my writing style is to start a bunch of different paragraphs, stick them together, keep writing for a couple of hours, **

**then cut it down until it starts to make sense…it really shows, huh?**

**Um, and I do mention it but in this story Ciel is…17? 18? Older, anyhow. Well, I put it in anyway.**

**Disclaimer: …kuroshitsuji. Not mine. Go figure. (what does that even mean?)**

**………………………………………………………………………..**

Ciel would not appear to have changed much. Taller, his hair worn a little longer, but still slender, pale and androgynous. One thing that has not so much changed as increased is his odd reputation: he is _not quite_ an upstanding servant of Her Majesty, _not quite_ sparkling material for a dinner party, _not quite _normal with his slightly feline posture and movements. His wardrobe, too, is not quite what would be expected. Besides _that_ eyepatch, he still maintains a fondness for shorts with stockings and garters, and it's rumoured that he's taken to wearing corsets.

But the young Earl of Phantomhive has never been the model of the respectable aristocracy: orphaned in a fire, disappearing for months, and then, after _another_ strange fire, this one destroying the home of one of his parents' associates and killing the large and still unidentified group gathered in the extensive cellars, reappearing with that strange smiling butler, the butler that accomplishes everything perfectly and effortlessly but seems to have no regard for tradition or propriety.

The butler, likewise, has not changed at all in the seven years he has been under the Earl's service, unless it could be that he has grown ever more subtly insubordinate beneath the surface, his smiles more and more insincere.

…………………………………………………………………

Ciel arranges his body in the oversized leather armchair. He raises a hand and beckons languorously. The ever-present shadow in the corner of the room steps forward, leaning down so that the master will not have to raise his voice.

"Sebastian…" the boy murmurs, his eye shaded beneath long lashes, "…please show the Director and his lady out."

"Yes, My Lord." The butler bows and goes to hold the door open, indicating the way out with a sparkling glove, smiling with curved, closed lips and eyelids. Shut, with no way in. His dark hair hangs quietly around the pale, handsome mask of a face.

With the visitors gone, the cursed Earl settles deeper into the shadows of the chair, waiting for his demonic servant _(a demon and a butler)_ to return.

…………………………………………………………………

Ciel is impure, corrupted. A human child, that which should have been sweet and innocent, twisted and broken by what happened to him, what was done to him, and then stained beyond redemption by his own actions. He made a contract with a demon, promising a part of himself, something that should never be given away, to a creature of sin and nightmares. Ciel has fallen so far that he sold himself for revenge without a second thought. Since then, he has only become more settled into his role.

Sebastian is not the one who is tainted. He is pure, a being only of evil. A demon is only the reflection of an angel, approaching the same point but from the opposite direction. _(And aren't angels torn between their love for humans and their burning envy for a being so flawed and yet so much more precious, so fragile and yet so much more valued by God? Aren't demons only broken angels, angels who chose the wrong side?)_ In any case, the pure black and the pure white are, from a certain point of view, the same. It's only when you start mixing the two that you get problems.

Ciel is jealous of Sebastian, poisonously jealous. The Earl jealous of the butler, the human master jealous of the demon slave. His envy has grown, slowly, as he has, under the curse, staring at his doom, his smiling death, every day. It's not supposed to be like this.

………………………………………………………………………

Sebastian returns, taking up his position in front of the chair. Ciel stares at him from its leather-lined depths.

"Young Master, the guests have been dispatched and are safely on their way. I am afraid I must also inform you that Meirin accidentally set fire to the dining-room drapes. I have extinguished the fire and taken the liberty of ordering new ones. Will the old style be acceptable?"

"…Mm…"

"Very good, Young Master. I have also arranged that your dinner be served in the drawing room until full repairs have been made."

Silence.

"Forgive my impertinence, Young Master, but is everything alright?"

Ciel has barely registered Sebastian's words. He's sunk in a pool of cold, heavy thoughts. He can see the pale lips moving, tightly curled upwards once more to keep the darkness in. The brown-red eyes smirk, glistening, beneath lowered eyelashes.

_I hate you._

Ciel is filled with a cold fury.

_I HATE YOU._

He overflows with rage towards the smiling demon. The demon who is impeccable, irreproachable, who wears the costume of his loyal servant.

When in reality it's the other way round, and the demon owns his soul.

_It's a lie._

He hates the demon, who in his dark perfection is a smooth mirror showing Ciel only his own flaws.

_Why is everything backwards? Why is everything the opposite of what it should be?_

Ciel has thrown himself out his chair, without realizing it, and hurled himself across the study.

_It's because of __YOU. You turn me round, you make me wrong. You make me look worthless._

He trips on his own ankles, unused to such ferocious movement, and collides heavily with the butler, who, startled, has been unable to move out of the way. They fall to the floor, Sebastian trying to cushion his master screaming and hitting at the front of his suit.

_I…hate you…_

He waits, motionless, for Ciel to subside into sobs and trembling, while his face shifts back into its usual calm expression, the mask of the perfect butler. The boy slowly quietens.

"Really, Young Master, I don't think a tantrum at your age is fitting behaviour for a Phantomhive heir, do you?"

_What did you do to make me like this? What did you do to make me so confused?_

"Me, Young Master? I assure you, I have done nothing that was not at your command."

Ciel looks up through one reddened, tear-stained, and startlingly blue eye. It would seem he that can no longer cry with the other, because the eyepatch is not even damp.

_Did I say…all of that…out loud?_

"Yes, you did." Another of the black, blank smiles.

_I hate you._

_But I don't know which way round I am any more._

Ciel starts crying again.

**…………………………………………………………………..**

**Well…I tried to break up the endless description with some narrative (hah)…did it work? **

**Hehe, the corset. ^^ .couldn't resist...who doesn't love "that scene"? LOL…ah…I was quite scared by it…**

…**anyone else REALLY FREAKED OUT by episode 17? I was completely terrified and confused..i don't know what the xxxx those writers are on, but it's not good..aaaaaarrrrrrrrrgh *mindrape***

**Thanks for reading my crazy story, and please spare a review if you have the time *writes reviewers on list of love***

***realises list of love is useless and incinerates***


	2. Shadow and Only

**Ok…so…inspired by a line from episode 18 (does anyone understand what happened? What the hell is up with this arc? It's over now…right?) where Sebastian refers to ciel as his soul or something…**

**Well, I decided I wanted to have a go at a sebas-chan pov. i don't think it really worked. Oh well! *cheerful face* well, I think he's harder to write than ciel because he has less emotion and you don't really know his motivation…sigh…well hopefully what you lose in continuity and success, you gain in originality and interest?**

**lol. I totally made up the part about the contract *butchers canon regardless* yup. It's a load of crap. Sorry about the boring explanation, but nothing really makes sense without it. Oh well. I put it at the beginning so it's not really part of the story, hope it doesn't mess up the flow too much.**

**Once again, kuro = not mine.**

**And thankyou to everyone who reviewed and alerted! It made me so happy ^^ this chapter is for you.**

**CHAPTER TWO – Shadow and Only**

**……………………………………………………………………..**

_A demon is bound to the one who summoned them, and must do their bidding until the human dies and their soul is offered up as payment. It's a simple enough contract, where the soul acts as insurance for both parties. If either party breaks the contract, they forfeit their right to it. _

_Therefore, for the duration of the agreement, it belongs to neither of them, but is held in common. _

_As long as the human lives, the soul is shared._

……………………………………………………………………………………

Sebastian pulls the sheets up and gently lays them over Ciel's unresponsive body. Once he'd stopped screaming, the boy had just seemed to go limp, although hot tears had continued to swell from his reddened eyes for a short time afterwards. It had only been six o'clock by the time the young Earl had calmed down, but he had been so exhausted by his outburst that the butler had decided to put him to bed straight away.

Going over to the window to shut the drapes, the demon hears a slight noise from the bed. He turns, eyes glinting red in the winter moonlight. Ciel has rolled onto his side and is facing Sebastian, body curled into itself, both eyes wide and shining, with an odd, inscrutable look on his face. It could be pleading, or resentment. It could be almost anything.

"Yes, Young Master?"

When Sebastian had gone to undress his master for bed, and first touched one slender shoulder, it had flinched away. The boy had forced himself to stay still after that, but it was clearly a struggle.

"I…" It's a murmur, a broken whisper.

……………………………………………………………………….

Sebastian is defined by Ciel's soul as much as the boy is. It's by his soul that the demon was called into the world, and it's his soul the butler is bound to.

At this point it's hard to say which of them it belongs to more. It's a string, a chain that holds the two together. It's an unspoken wall across which they regard each other in their dance of distrust and dependence.

Sebastian may well be Ciel's death. He will be there when the Earl finally dies, and he will take his soul and keep it. But Ciel is Sebastian's life. The butler is living by grace of his will. Every breath that he takes on this earth is only possible because of it.

Ciel's soul is his. Ciel is his soul.

They're one and the same.

………………………………………………………………………..

Sebastian moves silently across the carpet to stand by the side of the bed. He looks down at his master, his head tipped slightly to one side. The boy stares back up, silky strands of black falling over the eye that bears the contract. Looking like this, he could be any teenage boy, brows furrowed and cheeks tinged at this invasion of personal space. Sebastian watches slight muscles tense under the damp white skin. With the mark on his eye hidden, Ciel is nothing. A fragile human. The demon could break him with a finger. So strange to think that this is the creature who controls him, the creature who called him into being. So weak. So small.

The boy frowns and looks away, no longer able to meet the butler's eyes.

"I…apologise." His cheeks flush with embarrassment. "My behaviour earlier was…unseemly and unforgivable. I should not have attacked you like that. I should not have said such things." And in a much smaller voice, almost inaudible, the voice of Ciel the child, the Ciel who never grew up, "I'm sorry." The words are hardly there at all. "Forgive me."

A dark smile slowly spreads inside Sebastian. So they're back to pretending he's nothing more than a butler. Really Ciel should have learned by now that it's useless. He only does this when he's absolutely overwhelmed by the enormity of what he's done in using himself as a bargaining chip.

Even after all these years the boy has not realised just how suffocatingly, inextricably closely they are tied together. But this confusion, a smothering combination of loathing and need, seems to be a sign that on some subconscious level, at least, it's finally sinking in. You can only feel that way about something that's a part of you, something you can't escape. It's a feeling that comes only with sharing one life, as they are.

"Don't be foolish, Young Master."

The blue eye flicks up at him, glaring.

"Wha-"

The butler pulls one spotless glove from his hand. Even in the darkness of the room, the contract stands out clear against the pallor of his skin. Leaning forward, with cool fingers he brushes away a soft lock of hair, exposing Ciel's other eye, the one he keeps hidden.

"Surely you must have realised by now that with this, you don't need to apologise."

"I don't-" The young Earl is now more angry than embarrassed, and more confused than either.

"Really now, Young Master. I'm surprised at you. How much longer are you going to make me wait?"

Sebastian feels the familiar tug of his lips curving upwards as Ciel tries to understand his words.

Even if this boy is his whole world, how amusing it is to put this look on his face, and make him squirm.

How Ciel must hate him.

………………………………………………………………………..

Ciel had finally ended his engagement with Elizabeth shortly after his seventeenth birthday. The girl had been heartbroken, of course, but it had been clear for some time that neither of them really wished to go through with it. Her family had seen the change in the boy as he had got older, and agreed to breaking it off. This was often the case for those who made the demonic contract. They became drawn further and further in, the two beings with one soul between them unable to distinguish themselves from the other. This was certainly the case for the young Phantomhive. He had become colder than ever, less human, and if he was not required to go out for business would seldom leave his study, often letting days go by without seeing anyone other than his faithful demon butler.

Thinking on the failed relationship makes Sebastian smirk. The betrothal had been a weak contract, secondary to the one carved in blood. No wonder it had broken. Really, Ciel had no business trying to share his life with that woman. With any woman. That place is already taken. They are, in the fullest sense, soulmates_._ It seemed to take several years for the message to take hold, but the boy eventually realised that he was tied to Sebastian, and him only.

He wonders if Ciel has ever noticed, when the butler is touching him, dressing him, bathing him, that their pulses match. It makes sense, though. Both bodies are counting on the same clock and moving together towards the day when one will shut down and the other will cease to exist. If they share a soul, then why not heartbeats?

_I move for you. Breathe for you._

_You don't understand._

Watching in silent servitude. The demon looking up at the boy. He was a little disheartened the first time the order came, _Never leave my side_. Truly, it meant that Ciel had not yet comprehended the depth of their bond. Those words have been repeated often, throughout the years, and every time Sebastian grows a little more disappointed. But still he waits, hoping that one day his master will come to understand.

_I'm waiting._

Closer and closer, Ciel draws nearer to finally accepting. The evening's events only prove that.

_I'll always wait, for you._

He lets a thin smile spread over his face. His eyes narrow and his lips part slightly.

_Only you._

_My soul._

**………………………………………………………………………………**

**this is the point where I decide I've mangled this chapter badly enough and just leave it to bleed on the floor.**

**major suckage. orz. And yet I tried so hard. I cried blood, or whatever. Yeah, it was gross. Um. Sorry if you were expecting yaoi.**

**ummm…so what does everyone think Sebastian plans to do with ciel's soul once he gets it? The most likely to me is that he's gonna eat it *nummycielsoulgoodnessMUNCH*. But that seems too dull and, frankly, unromantic to a fanfic writer. Anyone have an opinion? Please let me know if you drop a review~~~~~**

**also – should there be a third chapter? Although I really have no idea what to put in it. Well, if enough people ask, I can maybe come up with something? Don't really know what else there is to say though.**


	3. Crimson and Shatter

**So I tried a new style that's a bit less labour-intensive. Hopefully this doesn't mean it's worse…**

**o-o my continuity is FAIL.**

**….just pretend Ciel grew up a bit unstable and hysterical, ok? Then everything will be alright. …I seem to have a thing for making him throw screaming fits…but he does it so well…**

**Done with Where Did You Sleep Last Night on repeat (by nirvana if you don't know it). It's an awesome awesome song. It fills me with a million angsty plotbunnies.**

**Kuro once again = not mine.**

**…………………………………………………………………………**

He's shattering.

Again.

So slowly.

In his high-heeled boots and narrow waist, the Earl who doesn't look like one. He looks more like what he is, a child with no soul. A child who sold himself for revenge, who grew up too fast and not at all.

He sold himself for hate, and sometimes it feels like that's all he's got, like that's all he is. He hates himself, and he hates Sebastian. Except for the two of them, there's nothing. As he's got older, his world has shrunk. Now the demon is his smirking reflection, all he can see.

Ciel screams, grabbing a vase and hurling it as hard as he can. Wet, crushed roses and priceless fragments scatter on the floor. Sebastian blinks.

"Don't lie to me!"

Sebastian makes him want to bleed. Sebastian makes him want to cry.

He wants to bite him. He wants to be bitten by him.

……………………………………………………………………………………..

_They're in the study of the London townhouse. Ciel pulls off his hat and begins tugging at his gloves._

"_Sebastian." He keeps his eyes fixed on the carpet. _

"_Yes, Young Master?"_

"_You're waiting for me to die."_

_Silence._

"_You'd be happier if I died right now."_

_He looks up._

…………………………………………………………………………………

His butler says nothing. It's a mocking, incredulous silence. It laughs at his fragility, his anger, behind a mask of polite concern.

It's getting worse. It's happening more often. He's so cold and indifferent, so much what he should be, and then he just _cracks_ and spills out. He falls everywhere and it's so messy. Ever since that night, when he attacked Sebastian and ended up sobbing in his arms. Disgusting. The heir to the Phantomhive legacy, almost an adult and crying like a child, needing comfort from a servant, no less. He's ashamed of himself. He loathes himself.

He wonders if Sebastian is worried. He's probably making himself taste bitter. He wants to laugh.

_I'm yours already, aren't I? This is just a joke to you. A play._

_This is all you. You're the one doing this to me._

It's Sebastian who made him, who makes him again every day and takes him apart at night. Sebastian gets into his dreams. A pale, shining mask. A black dog with eyes of flame. It's smiling. Always smiling.

_You were supposed to rescue me._

Without Sebastian he'd still be lying in a cage, dirty and moaning, or he'd be dead.

Without Sebastian he wouldn't be able to get up in the morning.

_You're torturing me._

Ciel falls to his knees, holding his face. He's afraid it's going to fall off. Sebastian is at his side, touching his shoulder and asking if he's alright.

Ciel bites him. He sinks his teeth in, twisting, bruising. He tastes blood in his mouth. This is what he wanted, and Sebastian's not smiling anymore-

"Young Master?"

The boy stares, slowly turning his face so that the empty, bottomless eye is looking at the butler.

"Se...ba…stian…" He reaches out with thin white fingers. They brush against a cool cheek. Gently, gently.

The butler frowns.

"Young Master…"

Ciel slaps him. The sound is a vicious _smack_, an intake of breath. A mark is already burning on the perfect face, angry and red. His palm stings.

"Don't touch me." His tone is icy. He's a Phantomhive again, and everything will be alright.

"Don't ever touch me without my permission."

"As you wish, Young Master." Sebastian's voice is a mirror of his own. He stands gracefully, and the door clicks shut as he leaves.

He smiles, but Ciel doesn't see it. Even if he was looking, he wouldn't see it.

The Earl stays on the floor until the pain in his chest goes away.

……………………………………………………………………..

Ciel is thinking about Sebastian. Always about him. He won't get out of his head. The smile that plays with him, twists his insides. More than anything, he wants to break it. He wants to see it fall apart.

………………………………………………………………………

Sebastian is in the hallway, lighting the lamps as the sky darkens and the day draws to a close. The Earl is only staying overnight, to conclude a business deal, so they didn't bring the other servants.

There's a clicking on the tiles of the corridor. He turns round, as it grows closer and stops, to see his master watching him.

Neither of them says anything.

Ciel takes a step forward, forcing the butler back so as not to collide with the Earl. His shoulderblades hit the wall.

The boy unties his eyepatch and twines his fingers in the ribbon, letting his hand fall to his side. As he looks up, the contract flares, freezing Sebastian into place, unable to look away.

Ciel hates that even now he only comes up to his shoulder, that even now he's so much smaller. He wants to intimidate, but he looks and feels like a frail girl.

"You belong to me," Ciel whispers. "Not the other way around."

_Get out of my head._

The butler doesn't move. He doesn't flinch.

_I'll make you scream. I'll break you._

This time he does it right. His teeth sink into Sebastian's flesh. He can feel them tearing the white skin. His mouth fills with blood, and he's surprised when it tastes just like his own. He lets go, and bites down again, ripping. He can feel the bruises he's making, and they taste sweet. The edges of the wounds are tender and rough, wet and metallic. He can feel his victim's surprised breathing, and his heartbeat.

It's as if nothing else exists. There is only the tang of copper, the resistance stopping his teeth from meeting. The flutter against his chest. It's perfect. It's bliss. It's just how he thought it would be.

He lets go once more, pulling away, and opens both eyes, staring up at Sebastian. For once the demon looks stunned, eyes wide in shock. A smirk is trying to worm its way onto Ciel's mouth, and he feels like he's won.

He breaks the silence.

"And don't you dare let it heal," he hisses. "I want to _see _it. I want to see you suffering." He licks his lips and, with a final glare, turns on his heel and clicks away down the hallway.

His butler stays leaning against the wall. Slowly, he brings up a white-gloved hand and brushes his pale, swollen lower lip. He stares as if hypnotized at the stain spreading across the spotless fabric.

His smile returns, lifting the corners of his mouth, pulling at the sharp wounds and stretching them, splitting his skin further.

_When will you learn?_

_When will you realise?_

**……………………………………………………………………………**

**o-o ciel's really losing it, huh. I wish I could keep him more in character…but he resists… And Sebastian got bitchslapped! *gasp* MOE MOMENT. And bitten! On the mouth! Indirect kiss! …wait a second…that's not… *shock* …so…it was almost, almost yaoi. I'm proud of myself.**

**I'm getting so sadistic T^T**

**The bit all in italics is flashback (only about a minute), if it's not obvious. It might seem a bit weird otherwise.**

**Lots and lots of thanks to all those who have reviewed, favourited or alerted. *distributes love* You guys are awesome. Kuroshitsuji has the most rewarding fans to write for (actually, I think the archive's just so tiny that whatever you write gets read by everyone).**

**Please keep giving me feedback! That's the only way I'm gonna know what you do and don't like.**

**I skipped the background-description-philosophising stuff in this chapter. Better? Worse? I kind of like this more. Sure as hell was easier to write. I think I just like doing the crazy stuff. It's way fun.**

**_the heels are totally canon. go take a look at the manga if you don't believe me._**


	4. Twisting and Split

**So I wrote you guys another chapter. Review or I'll sulk and spend the next week writing pointless, nonsensical oneshots for totally obscure fandoms. They will be abstract. There will be death. There will most certainly not be anything of a citrussy persuasion. I'm thinking I could start with something for Isley and Priscilla from Claymore…**

**So if you want more P&B, you know what to do! Now get to it!**

**This came out accidentally as crack first time round, so I had to redo it. It's still less serious than the other chapters, I think. It was pretty difficult, and I'm sorry if it seems a bit rough.**

**Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay I wrote a baaaaaaaath sceeeeeeeeeeeene! It was so fun ^^. I hope you like it. I was going for "tense and suggestive" rather than "yaoi with bubbles", so sorry if you're disappointed.**

**Yes, I own Kuroshitsuji. I want to say it, but it's a lie. Damn.**

**Um…a few days later, back at Castle Phantomhive…**

**…………………………………………………………………………………..**

Sebastian strokes his lower lip, feeling the torn and swollen flesh through his gloves. He smirks, stretching the damaged skin until it stings.

A human with these injuries would be in constant agony, reduced to a whining mass of pain. As a demon, he registers the sensation as a pleasant tingling. It's rather enjoyable.

His smile broadens as he thinks about what he has to look forward to.

_Ciel biting his face. Ciel's small white teeth sinking into him and tearing into his flesh as if devouring. Ciel's delicate hands pressing at his chest, clutching at his shoulders._

He checks his cravat in the mirror. It's perfect, as always.

His face, however, is a mess. It's a wreck, a shadow of its former beauty.

The blood has been cleaned off and stitches have been put in, but his bottom lip has two large rents that have barely begun to heal, and his mouth is puffy and purple with bruises.

He's a little impressed by the boy's viciousness. He remembers the night the contract was formed, what Ciel ordered him to do to his tormentors. Perhaps he was more scarred by that experience than he cared to let on. At any rate, the young aristocrat has grown up into quite the sadist.

The demon feels oddly proud of his master.

Perhaps Ciel is not quite so oblivious after all. At least, he's becoming interestingly unhinged. A human attacking a demon in this manner is not something he's come across before.

His master is a work of beauty. Every day his soul becomes more fractured, sharper, sweeter. Sebastian can't wait for it to be his, and his alone, but at the same time wants to put off the pleasure for as long as possible, so that when he finally collects his reward it will be unbearably intense. He thinks that he might lose his mind, so wonderfully broken and twisted will it be.

He can feel Ciel losing control, bit by bit. The Ciel who formed the contract, the Ciel of a month ago even, would never have dreamed of biting his butler. Much less on the mouth.

Sebastian smiles wider than ever, running the risk of reopening his wounds and ruining another shirt with bloodstains.

He wonders whether his master was merely acting on instinct, or chose his mouth deliberately.

…………………………………………………………………………………

Ciel is having tea with Lau. Ranmao is also in attendance, but as usual is more decorative than an actual part of the proceedings. She perches, doll-like, on her master's lap, arms wrapped loosely around his neck.

For the thousandth time, Sebastian wonders if she too is a demon under contract. The girl is so perfect, and she doesn't seem to have aged at all since he's known her. For the thousandth time, he reminds himself that he'd be able to tell. But still her golden eyes watch him blankly as he serves the tea and cake. She doesn't look away even as Lau feeds her sweet mouthfuls from his fork.

The Chinese man is asking him what happened to his face. His eyebrows are curved in sympathy, and his voice is not a bad attempt at concern, although the effect is spoilt slightly by his obvious amusement.

"Nothing serious, sir. A small incident with a dog." the butler replies, with a smile to rival the guest's.

"Maaaaa, you should take better care of yourself, Sebastian. People will think Ciel can't take care of his servants."

They both turn to look at the boy, who ignores them.

"Really, though, it looks like someone tried to rip your face off." Lau continues, ignoring the story about the dog in a way that suggests he knows _exactly_ how Sebastian came by his injuries, and finds it highly entertaining.

"Won't it be a shame if it scars, Ciel? Such a handsome face, don't you think?" Lau pouts at the Earl.

There's no sound except for a loud _chink_ as Ciel puts his teacup down a little harder than necessary.

"Lau," he says, eyebrow twitching. "Rather than discussing my butler's looks, weren't you supposed to be here for business?"

Sebastian smiles and bows out of the study, leaving them to their talks, with a final glance at Ranmao. She's still watching him. Their eyes meet right up until he shuts the door.

………………………………………………………………………………..

Sebastian finds himself wanting to see the Ciel who hurts him, who stares up at him with angry, wounded, wet eyes. _Ciel_, not the cold, serious Earl of Phantomhive. The Ciel who flies at him, screaming, crying. The Ciel who bites him. _That_ Ciel is so much more fun. In his unbalanced state, it's possible that he will try to break the contract, or even kill himself. Either way, Sebastian would receive the boy's soul a lot earlier than expected.

He decides to play a game.

………………………………………………………………………………………

The bathroom fills with the steam and the sound of splashing water. Ciel stands silently with his eyes closed as Sebastian removes his clothing piece by piece. Last off is the eyepatch, and the boy opens his eyes. The butler holds his arm for balance as he steps into the tub. Ciel hisses as the hot water laps over his brand, which even now remains sensitive. Sebastian steps outside to put the clothes on a chair in the hall, where they will not be damaged by the humidity. As he returns Ciel settles lower in the bath, enjoying the warmth and the bubbles, tilting his head back.

"Would Young Master like me to wash his hair now?"

"Hmm…no. Put another kettle on the fire. I feel like a long bath today."

The butler inclines his head obediently. His lip twitches, the injured skin irritated by the damp air.

There's a sloshing sound. Sebastian turns to see Ciel sitting up, staring at him with wet hair falling in his eyes and cheeks flushed from the hot water.

"You're wrong, you know. What you said to Lau."

"And what was that?"

"It's you that's the dog. Not me."

"It was merely an excuse, Young Master. I thought it best not to mention…"

_Ciel pushing him against a wall, crushing their mouths together in fury. Sebastian's blood on his master's face, running down his chin. The boy licking his lips._

"…the exact circumstances by which I came these injuries."

Ciel studies his face, glaring. There's nothing except an innocent, helpful smile, marred slightly by the broken, discoloured mouth. He makes a small sound of annoyance.

"Unless you would prefer…?"

"Don't be stupid. You might as well tell them straight out that you're a demon."

Sebastian finishes adjusting the kettle in the fireplace, and leaves the water to boil. He approaches the bathtub, pulling his gloves off. Ciel is slumped, frowning at a patch of bubbles floating above his stomach.

"Remember your posture, Young Master. Your parents would be horrified." Having circled around to the back of the tub, Sebastian places his hands on his master's shoulders and gently forces them straight. He moves around to the side, smiling with eyelids curved shut at the boy's glaring face.

"If I may say so, Young Master, you showed excellent judgement in choosing my mouth as the area which would cause the most discomfort and inconvenience when injured." His words are met with a blank stare. "As a demon, I couldn't be prouder of you." The smile would now be better described as a smirk, and despite the speech betrays neither pain nor awkwardness.

Ciel looks furious with him. He looks as though he wants to hit him. Again. Frowning, he shuts his eyes.

"Sebastian." His teeth are gritted. "I think you'd better wash my hair now."

Sebastian bows his head and gets up, moving over to the chest where the soaps and bottles are arranged in front of a large mirror.

Pouring shampoo onto his hands, the butler takes up his position behind his master. He sinks his hands into the soft black hair and begins running the strands through his fingers. The boy lets his head sink forward onto his chest.

"Hmm…" Sebastian murmurs. "I think you're going to need a haircut soon, Young Master. With your build, you could easily be mistaken for a woman if you let it get any longer."

Ciel's back stiffens, and he turns around, gripping the edge of the tub.

"You're doing it again," He hisses. "Why? Didn't you learn your lesson? Don't you remember what I did last time? Stop it!" By now his voice is loud and wavering. "You're my butler! Why can't you just act like it? Why can't you stop acting like there's anything else between us?" It's reached a hoarse yell.

"Because there is."

The head jerks up, blue eyes flashing.

"Young Master seems to be forgetting our contract. Our _other_ contract." Sebastian holds up the hand with the seal. "Remember that we are much more than master and servant. Remember that you promised yourself to me, just as I did to you. Remember it _always_, not merely when it is convenient." He trails his hand in the water, and leans forward so that he's whispering in the boy's ear.

"Remember that you belong to me, as well as the other way around. One day, when you are dead, your soul will be _mine._"

Ciel's hand collides with his face, ripping the stitches out. He feels the skin tear further from the impact, and blood seeping out.

"Stop it! STOP IT!" The boy snaps, and starts screaming. "Shut up! Get away from me! I hate you! I HATE YOU!"

The butler smiles despite the pain and the blood creeping towards his collar. This game is almost too easy. But it's still the most fun he's had in a while.

"Yes, My Lord."

He closes the bathroom door and listens to the wails as they subside into raw, broken sobs. His smile is wider than ever, and his eyes glow as red as sharp, bleeding mouth.

**…………………………………………………………………………………..**

**I'm sorry, Ciel! Why am I so mean to you? It's all your fault for being so fun to torture!**

**oooooo I want to write something for Lau and Ranmao. You can't not love him. He's chinese Ichimaru with a harem. Harems FTW. **

**New chapter of kuro! Did you read yet? Doting nurse Sebastian = WIN (i'm betting on at least ten fics about it). Awwww…next chap is not until after my birthday…I'm gonna be 18 before there's any plot development…aaaaaa legal adulthood…**


	5. Perfect and Broken II

**New chapter! Sorry it's been so long but I had exams and it was all arrgghg and, to be honest, I got a little stuck.**

**Nevermind! Here we go! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: **_**by miraculous coincidence, I still don't own kuro.**_

**………………………………………………………………………………………**

He dreams that Sebastian is whispering hot words in his ear, words of sin and insanity and death. He curls up tighter, finding no comfort in the fine, slippery fabric of his nightshirt and bedclothes.

Ciel hates how he's being played, and what's happening to him. He's the Earl, the Queen's dog, and he shouldn't be used, manipulated, driven mad by anyone. No one should own him.

………………………………………………………………………………………

_Sobbing, he'd been helped out of the bath and attended to by Tanaka. In the three days since then, he hasn't seen Sebastian; although the butler is always in the house, he's kept their paths from crossing. Ciel has been avoiding him anyway, keeping to his bedroom, the study and the gardens._

………………………………………………………………………………………

He doesn't want to see Sebastian. He doesn't know what he can say, what the demon will do to him next. It's like he makes him lose himself, his sanity. After being in control his whole life, he finds this sudden powerlessness, helplessness even, terrifying. It makes him cry.

There's a clicking, scraping noise from inside the lock of the bedroom door.

Ciel's eyes slam open in the darkness and suddenly ringing silence.

In the gloom, he can barely make out the handle turning, the shine of moonlight on it wavering.

He sits up in bed, clutching the front of his robe, fingertips scratching against the embroidery and lace.

The sound from the door has stopped.

He holds his breath, fighting down fear, nausea and a strange expectant, giddy sensation.

There's no noise or movement, so whoever it was must have gone away, Ciel tells himself, ignoring a large part of his mind that's telling him exactly who it was and that there's no way he would have left.

He lies down again, scolding himself for acting like a child afraid of a monster under the bed.

"Moron." He mutters.

"I hope you don't mean me."

Ciel shrieks, heart slamming against his ribs.

He gasps his breath back in needy gulps.

"Wh-what the -" He starts angrily, trailing off as he spots Sebastian, a shadow at the end of his bed, holding aside the heavy curtain of the four-poster. He's silhouetted against the dim silver darkness of the bedroom, making it impossible to see his face. For a moment Ciel thinks he sees the eyes glow red. The butler leans down and lights a candle, making the brocade glow with soft light, filling the space with a warm glow. He looks perfectly normal, his usual mask of calm superiority in place. Ciel can't help staring at his mouth. It's completely, flawlessly healed, restored to perfection, with no trace of any injury. A wound like that would have left a permanent scar on a normal human.

He tries again, stammering, "What are you doing here?"

"You were having trouble sleeping, so, as is my duty, I came to see if everything was alright," A pause for the ever-lurking smirk to begin to form. "Young Master." Somehow the polite phrase sounds anything but. It sounds dangerous, like Ciel has got himself into something he doesn't understand.

"How did you know I wasn't asleep? And how did you even get in here, anyway?"

"I could hear you tossing and turning from the hallway as I passed. And I used the door, of course. Didn't you hear the handle?"

Ciel knows for a fact that he'd been lying motionless for at least half an hour before the butler came in. "But…" he sighs and gives in. As he's found many times, it's useless to challenge Sebastian over anything. He watches him move over to the bedside table and set down the candlestick, staring all the while at the miraculously healed lower lip.

"I thought I told you not to let that heal."

"I'm afraid it seemed necessary, Young Master. The wound kept opening up and the blood caused a frightful mess." The butler pauses, cocking his head towards his master.

"Speaking of which…" He sits down, uninvited, on the edge of the bed. Ciel glares, but he doesn't seem to notice. "…I've been meaning to pay you back."

"I don't -"

"In a contracted relationship, such as ours, wouldn't you agree that fair exchange is only reasonable? That is, after all, the nature of our agreement, is it not?"

"Sebastian, sto-"

"So it's only right that I…"

"I'm ordering you to -"

Sebastian's teeth take hold of his bottom lip.

Gently, barely tugging, but Ciel can feel their lips touching and they're warm and wet and his face flushes in embarrassment and violation-

The pressure increases slightly, not really hurting but just enough to make him yelp in surprise. Sebastian shifts to the corner of Ciel's mouth and bites down just a little harder, and he gasps at the sudden pain. Sebastian makes a soothing murmur, shocking Ciel into silence, and his teeth break the swollen, tender skin, just a little puncture, almost gentle, almost – although he really doesn't want to think about it – affectionate. He tastes a drop of blood on the corner of his tongue, and Sebastian must be able to smell it because his tongue laps at the little wound, and it's a horrible and strange sensation to have a demon lick your lip. He realizes that he's been frozen into place the whole time and somehow manages to jerk backwards, breaking the contact.

Sebastian's eyes are crimson, and he's licking Ciel's blood and saliva from his mouth with a slow tongue.

"What the hell was that?" Ciel's voice is jarring, too loud, too startled. He scrambles backwards until his spine hits the headboard. His face, his eyes, are red and heated, his mouth sore and somehow sweet-tasting. "You-you bit me! You-I'm bleeding! What if it leaves a scar? It-Why?"

He hates how gently he was bitten, how he didn't even try to struggle as his blood and authority and something else he can't quite name were taken from him.

Sebastian runs his tongue over his lips once more. "I told you. You took my blood, which was not specified in the contract. I was merely resetting the balance."

Tears of pain and confusion are forming in Ciel's wide blue eyes, stinging like his raw mouth. He can feel the falling, and he knows it's happening again-

"Don't cry, Young Master," Sebastian soothes, leaning forward and brushing away a soft tear with a crisp-gloved hand. His eyes are still half-lidded, his dark silky hair messy and hanging loose, forward. He looks like a beautiful betraying demon, and Ciel's heart jumps a little in fear at owning this creature, being bound to it. He can never, ever be cut loose. "I don't think I hurt you that badly, did I?"

A sob forms in his throat and he collapses hard against Sebastian's chest, needing to feel him there, always there, the one thing that will be there always, and that will not turn away. They're bound together so tightly it hurts, and every time he tugs on the strings they only cut into him, deeper and deeper.

"Sebastian," he gulps, not knowing what he wants to say or even what he feels.

"Sshh…"

"Sebastian!" he digs his hands into the jacket, feeling his tears soak into the smooth fabric. His voice is broken. "Don't hurt me. I need you not to hurt me. I need you." His mouth is pressing against the cool, firm weave, making it hard to form words. He's too close for them to make sense. "Please. You're the only thing I have." He takes a deep, shuddering breath. "I…I know what I did when I made the contract. I know I'm tied to you forever, I know I …belong to you, more than you ever will to me." He buries his face deeper, letting his voice drop. "Please just…don't do this to me…don't make me like this…"

The surface of Sebastian's jacket shifts against him. A hesitant arm drapes round his shoulders, that are still narrow, slender and white under the loose shirt. A gloved hand, finer, crisper fabric, strokes his hair, his cheek, brushing his shivering neck.

"There, Young Master." He feels rather than hears the voice, a deep purr through the demon's chest. "It took you long enough to work it out." He murmurs in Ciel's ear, "I only wanted you to realise that."

The boy lets out another sob.

_He's lost._

Sebastian holds Ciel close, comforting him with his warmth and sweet demonic scent.

_He doesn't care._

He's broken.

He's so broken, he's hanging, vulnerable, fragile, delicate, beautiful.

Sebastian's mouth turns up at the edges, the sharp, blood-red edges. His teeth glint.

He's perfect.

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**……………………………………….o-o **

**I'm thinking I'll just leave it there and go write some oneshots. Maybe I'll come back at some point and have Ciel kill himself.**

**I might just leave it there anyway. I'm sort of over this story…I feel like it's kind of done.**

**Thanks for reading ^^ see you soon.**

**and thank you reviewers. you guys are love.**


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